Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
