I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
