So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
