pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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