that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
