I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
