Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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