I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
