i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
