The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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