I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
