Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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