The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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