clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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