i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
