at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
