I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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