that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
