Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
