The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
