I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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