I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
