The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
