In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
