Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
