great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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