I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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