Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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