Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
