Please, let me fuck your mom
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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