RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
