Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
