Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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