No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
