I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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