saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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