I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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