Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
