making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
