your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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