dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
