i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
