trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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