i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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