i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
