It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So much Jack, so little girl.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
