so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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