u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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