Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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