I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize