Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
