i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
