I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
NoShamevember. You game?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
