The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
