You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
