Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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