Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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