It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
