Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
